Tuesday, December 25, 2007

what is christmas?






Christmas is a 1/2 dressed Renee cooking Pot Roast for breakfast and Lazagna for dinner

Christmas is...complaining about bars and liquor stores being closed

Christmas is...that gaggle of phone calls that one needs a percadan before calling

....and the look of constipation one has while making them.

Christmas is booze and bikes and all the rest.

..."Hey Jose!"

We have just evolved

J

Thursday, December 6, 2007

....Cold outside, warm inside...

Hello DayDrinkers,



It's been a while. I was just looking over old posts and smiling. The last one was that great weekend of VooDoo. Ana sent in one recently as well. I will post some pics when my computer is fixed, I have some good ones. I'm sitting here in my small room at work. It's 20 degrees outside. It's only Thursday. I'm 34 hours away from my next DayDrink and I'm not happy.
All is not lost. The last few weekends have been legendary. Thanksgiving comes to mind. A gritty story about perseverance in the face of adversity. Me and JW are up here in Boston working for the next few months. Just three hours south is the famous New York chapter of DDS. I worked it out so that a rental car would be waiting for me on the night before Thanksgiving. With any luck I could catch the 2nd set of Reegal Beegal in New York and then we could enjoy the holiday with our brothers and sisters in the city. At the appointed hour i realize that no rental car is coming. Everyone is telling us how stupid we are to travel from Boston to NY on the busiest travel day of the year. After some tears and begging I convince the powers to give us a car. A new DDS Boston brother gives us top secret directions and we are off. Boston to NY in three hours and ten minutes. (thank you JP). We walk into the last song of the first set. The next day we wake up and do it again. A truly wonderful day of booze and love and I think a thanksgiving nap that needed a defibrillator to awake me. The next day we awake in Brooklyn. We convert some new members and are playing pool in a lower east side bar before noon. The next day we are being sent off by the NY team with a wonderful brunch. I was sad to leave NY. It was so good to me. I invited the NY team to drive up to Boston with us.....and they did. Wait.....I've left alot out. Lets go to Milhouse with his side. Milhouse?....

Hello Day Drinkers. I write to you with a post –Thanksgiving/pre-Christmas message. With all the other responsibilities in our lives (job, school, significant other, liver problem) it is easy to forget our responsibilities to ourselves and our fellow day drinkers. Let us not forget that while killing each other, we are the ones keeping each other alive. What some people call “enablers” we call “our friends”. During my brief Thanksgiving vacation I was visited by some “wise men” that helped me remember that it is important to periodically forget priorities or deadlines, and that we have to meet and just mix it up. We did this with a drinking marathon that lasted from Wednesday night to Sunday morning and spanned from the Lower East Side of Manhattan all the way up to some fancy hotel in the center of Boston. The Gun-In-Mouth Syndrome inevitably followed this adventure. However, there was a crack of a smile when I conjured up sweet memories of Bacon Vodka and Anime Porn at Double Down or my first trip to the Mecca for drunks: Cheers in Boston. It takes a weekend like this to remind us what it means to be a day drinker. Many people drink on the weekends, but we have made an art of it. We have set a standard. Hey NOLA DDS I will be there for Christmas, and I am presently in intensive training. See y’all soon.

OK, where was I? Yes, they came up to Boston with us without so much as thinking about it for 5 minutes. This is the spirit of the true DayDrinker. I have to tell you, I'm having problems in Boston converting the masses. There are so many rules here to regulate your good time that a good time is rarely had. Sure they drink, they eat, but just when a good time without restraints is about to happen, the light go on and some asshole is yelling at you to finish them up and get out.The next day everyone lays in bed and cries about feeling sick. I have tried to help these people. I have tried to show them what I have learned. I have tried to tell them that their pain can be a thing of the past but they will not listen. Your average Bostonian would rather spend the whole day bitching about how sick they feel then take some medicine and fix the problem. If you fix them a drink they run to the bathroom and puke rather then drinking it. I'm stubborn though, and I refuse to give up on this town. By New Years i hope to convert them to our care free way of life. If it kills them

Last weekend Amanda came up from NOLA and I was reminded how good the NOLA chapter really is. I longed for home as we walked though the hotel lobby...the only ones at 11AM with beer bottles in tow. We were on a mission and mission accomplished. We ate and drank and saw the town the only way we needed to.

The future is bright. DayDrinkers are traveling the country to be together. Jordan is spreading the word like a missionary in Costa Rica. Milhouse is coming to NOLA for Christmas, the Kraysers are coming for New Years. Boy Band is coming for Mardi Gras. I am considering visiting Portland in March. So I challenge you DayDrinkers. Get in your car or on a plane and celebrate life with your brothers and sisters. Go find a new city and explore. We always find our places. Explain our credo and watch a new chapter spring up. I have done this in countless bars and it always works. It also feels pretty good. I want DDS to be an equal opportunity for us all to contribute so please send me any ideas, pictures, or stories. In the mean time I will continue to work on these provincial uptight quakers up here in Bean Town. See you soon?

J

Friday, November 2, 2007

Voodoo Bender






Hello Daydrinkers,

I sit here in my bed finally able to type after a bender that almost bested me. A lot of good lessons were learned and they will all most likely be ignored in the future. VooDoo Fest was this weekend in New Orleans. This is a three day music festival. Crap, I just looked down and realized that I am still covered in glitter. So is the whole house. Thanks Renee. Anyway, NOLA DDS had a visiter from the New York Chapter. Chris came down and I don't think we disappointed. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday we went out like every cold wonderful drink was our last then raced home right before the sun came up and burned our unholy skin. Then we woke before noon to do it again. There were no bike accidents to speak of, though for some unremembered reason two bikes are in need of repair. Everyone is fatter today then they were last Wednesday, this may be because of our new member from Jacque Amos, I don't know. Everything was right with the world...except for one issue we will discuss now.
"GUN IN MOUTH SYNDROME" = Origins, Ryan Krazer. A feeling of depression and unease in ones own skin brought on my excessive drinking over a three day period. Symptoms may include mild to severe depression, sensitivity to ones own memory, plans to change ones ways, fear of reviewing who one called the night before, and placing a loaded pistol in ones mouth to alleviate all former symptoms. To control and conquer Gun in Mouth one must remove physical gun from mouth then fill the empty whole with Poor Man's Health Care.
"POOR MAN'S HEALTH CARE" = The term also originated from fellow daydrinker Ryan Krayser. It's recipe has been perfected with lots of practice. Originally a simple screwdriver I have tweeked the recipe to combat GIM syndrome by adding a splash of pineapple. Get your vitamin C, get your vodka, and put the gun down. If the first one doesn't take, feel free to try again. One thing is for sure, by the time that third one hits, your good as new. Gun? What gun?.....You're welcome.
Now that you are walking again you may still suffer a strange sensation. You limbs appear to be obeying you, but only in the most rudimentary sense. Your body is functioning as though it was one of those crane arcade games where one uses two levers to operate a small crane to pick up a toy. We at DDS theorize that a small monkey is actually sitting on your brain helping you operate your handicapped limbs. Don't be alarmed, when he feels that you can do it on your own he will crawl out and have a drink with you. BE CAREFUL! He never brings cash and only drinks top shelf! My advise? Pick up his tab. He did you a solid.
Well, now your all patched up. Does your phone have a funtion where you can erase all voice mails without having to hear them? Use it. Text messages? Erase. When people come up to you with "Dude, you were so drink last night", or Remeber what you said to me?", own it. No apologies, no embarrassment. Yes you know you were drinking, yes you know that sometimes you become obnoxious and loud. Shocker. A true friend will keep his mouth shut knowing soon he will be the object of ridicule. All the others are jealous of the devil without a care way you run your life. Fuck 'em.
Well now, I think that covers everything. I will be leaving my lovely NOLA nest for a few months. Steve and Renee are in charge of Blanket City until I return. I ask that some of you use this blog while I am gone. I will still post as I will be visiting one of our colder chapters and I'm sure I will have a lot of work recruiting new members, but let's give this page a new flavor. Call me for the code to blog and it is yours. Milhouse, I'm looking in your direction. Drink, ride bikes, send pictures. See you soon.

J

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Adventure Bacci






















I love how this site ties us all together...like that little strand of mucous that hangs from your mouth into the toilet...after puking your guts out from a long night. Beautiful!

Anyway, I've been getting phone calls/e-mails that border on harassment from Sir Jason "strongly encouraging" me to post a blog. I've thought, I don't have time for this shit...but clearly this is not the case.

In light of a recent birthday of mine (the big quarter century) we've celebrated here in the Pacific Northwest in true Portland fashion...a little weird...truly hip...and needless to say very entertaining.

On Sunday October 21st the Portland crew gathered for a stuff your face with eggs, cheesy-potatoes and bacon brunch, then hit the dog park for "Adventure Bacci". Fear not, we surprisingly had sun, and although the air was crisp, we kept quite warm with Mimosas, Frambiose, and beer.

I can't say I can really top the drunken debauchery that I have read about on the site, but it fit the standards of "daydrinking" for sure.

More to come this soon :)
Ariana

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Rules





We have been trying to put together a list of rules for the Day Drinkers Society. These are more like suggestions or advise from those who have learned from good or bad experiences. What we have so far is a small sampling of what I would like. I will list what we have below and hope that you will add your rules this. Just click on comment to blog at the bottom. You may need to set up an account with this blog but please do so. It would be nice to hear from some of you.



Some preliminary rules:

Never apologize for drunken buffoonery. This thing is a vicious cycle. You fuck up today, I promise it’ll be me tomorrow.

A nonworking day drinker never gloats to working day drinkers about their antics, unless of course it’s funny… It’s always funny.

If you’re drunk and you have found a good bar, stay there. Excessive moving never gets you anywhere better. It just pisses everyone off.

Know when to get up from the table. If you think it might be time to go, it was time to go a half hour ago.

Overtip. Put good bartenders in your pocket like Vito Corleone put crooked politicians in his. You never know when they will come in handy.

Never say “I’ll never drink again.”

Drink what you want. There are no beer police so tell that guy to go screw. This doesn't shield you from ridicule when you deserve it.

When sober and tired, a shot of tequila will get you going. When drunk and tired, a red bull will get you going. More then one tequila or red bull will keep you going, but in a pet cemetery sort of way.

When drunk, rely on the buddy system. If you leave the group be prepared to suffer the consequences.

If you have to leave the group, call on cell phone. When I’m out looking for your body, I need a timestamp and last place you were awake.

from Adrian:

Guys might find drunk sexy but women, not so much

Its okay to decline a girly shot just don't make a big deal out of it

Beer and whiskey result in bad breath. I would NEVER advise against these elixers of the gods but, just be aware of it before you got talk to that girl you've been pounding liquid courage to get up the nerve to talk to.

Never argue with a drunk woman (especially if she's your girlfriend, your buddies girlfriend or your roomate)

Never EVER argue with a group of drunk women, you will always be wrong. Now, bow out gracefully and quickly.

If a drunk girl wants to dance don't argue (see rule 4)

If a group of drunk girls want to do karoke, RUN! (see rule 5)

If a woman warns, "I'm not much of a drinker", she has given you fair warning.

Never waste your time with a girl who says "I'm not much of a drinker"

Why would you start a tab with your credit card? You know whats going to happen.

Get the bartenders name early on but, use it sparingly. You may love him like a father but, he's not.

If bringing booze to a party where you plan on drinking most of it you gotta opt for the larger bottle

Never use a strip club ATM

Be concious of your drinking budget at the beginning and you'll be in good shape later when you're not concious of anything.

Never drink Aftershock , EVER!

With mixed drinks you can go with booze from the well - except if its in a plastic bottle

If the bartender doesn't know how do make it don't explain... change your order

If you don't see a blender that looks like it gets frequent use do not order a frozen drink.

Just don't order frozen drinks.

Don't bust your buddies balls about the beer he's drinking - nobody likes a beer snob.

If your buddie orders a drink that is: A. such a bright color you have to squint B. served in a fruit C. comes with a "crazy straw" D. named after a sex act, position, location, element or fluid - he's asking for it.

A famous person who enjoys a fruity drink is not an excuse - I don't care if Elvis drank Mia Tias you're no fucking Elvis!

Posting embarassing drunk photos on the internet is done to enemies not friends (unless its really fucking funny)

If you're drinking with your buddies and you make the "Fight Club" suggestion you cannot get mad about whatever happens next.

If your friend tries to picks a fight with the bouncer don't stop him - he's got to learn somehow.


Thanks Adrian, Now DayDrinkers, it's you turn.

Have fun,

J

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

DDS Newsletter October 16, 2007






Hello Daydrinkers,

It's been an interesting few weeks. Some good events. Lets get started. Jello slip & slide. What a great idea. I can't take credit for it. Our friend Diana came up with it. We at DDS made it better. By adding KY and baby oil we DayDrinkers were the most lubricated...inside and out. If you want to recreate this event may I suggest using black Visqueen from Home Depot and making sure to drink enough so you don't mind the broken bones.
Last week I misplaced my job. This led to a night of wonderful self destruction. Drinking in a crisis. It's important to remember the ground rules when drinking in a crisis. First, never do it alone. You need your close friends to be you bodyguards, chauffeur, priest, and shrink. Try to avoid you usual spots. Go somewhere where you can piss off the staff as well as the patrons. Allow yourself to get kicked out. When choosing your drink, think longevity. You want to be up and drinking all night. How can you properly defile yourself if you pass out early? Beer is always a good choice. If you see the sun rising feel free to switch over to the hard stuff. The next day you are going to have feelings of guilt and depression. Feel free to wash them away with two or three cold beers.
The cultural rituals of the Day Drinking Society are constantly developing. Last night we experienced a spiritual cleansing. This consisted of Wild Turkey 101, 43, a guitar, Renee's robot chicken dinner, beer, a drum, and boatloads of vodka. We stayed in the safe confines of our home and pressed play. There was laughing, crying, fighting, broken things, and loudness. Today everyone is better. I asked Beau if he felt good today. He said, "I don't feel good, I feel like my insides were scrapped out." Mission accomplished.
Last we have a treat for you. The beautiful Bevin keeps ending up with men who enjoy burning her name in the lawn. She’s going through a stalker jag. Look through this months blogs and you will find the application to date Bevin. Take the test and attach it as a comment. Lets see who passes.

Enjoy

J

Application to date Bevin



The following is a two part application for those who want to date our Bevin. Poor Bevin has a stalker problem. This is an attempt to weed out the crazy's. Please feel free to fill it out and attach yours as a response to this blog. Just cut and paste the Application to a word document and fill out. The best one gets Luscious Bevin.

Application to Date “The Bevin”

1. Are you crazy?
2. Have you ever screamed in the street about someone?
3. Do you have stalker tendencies?
4. Are you a compulsive liar?
5. Do you live on the 400 block of Pacific?
6. Are you married or engaged?
7. Do you have weird rashes or unexplained break outs?
8. Do you have a job? Are you able to support yourself with this job?
9. Are you homosexual or bi-sexual?
10. Do you play in a band?
11. List all medicine you are on. Prescription or over the counter? (Legal or illegal?)
12. Do you work at Chevron? (Not the gas station!)
13. Have you graduated from high school or have a GED equivalent?
14. Are you between the ages of 27 - 40 years old?
15. Have you ever been in jail? If so, explain.
16. Do you have a reliable vehicle?
17. Do you talk when watching movies?
18. Do you have a bad temper?
19. Do you drunk dial?
20. Are you needy or overly clingy?
21. Do you have a warrant out for your arrest?
22. Do you pay child support or alimony?
23. Do you have any close friends?
24. Have any of your previous girlfriends turned gay immediately after dating you?
25. Do you live with your parents?




Application to date “the Bevin”
Part II

1. If I had diabetes and went into insulin shock would you stab me in the ass to save my life?
2. Do you go all the way on the first date?
3. Do you like feet? If so, to what degree?
4. Are you a compulsive liar?
5. How often do you bathe?
6. Do you smoke? Are you offended by smokers?
7. If during intercourse I screamed “stick it in my ass!” what would your response be?
8. If you are a musician and you had the opportunity to date me, would you delete all your booty call numbers and provide proof that you have done so?
9. Do you have any problems sleeping with “the Bevin” and Johnny Cash at the same time?
10. If you had the opportunity to sleep with “the Bevin” would she wakeup to breakfast in bed and a clean house?
11. What’s your favorite time of day to do it?
12. Are you a good cook?
13. Can you get it up after drinking massive amounts of liquor?
14. If my job requires me to move will you go?
15. Do you mind being number 4?
16. What are your four favorite things in life?
17. Are you from West Virginia?
18. Name your three favorite movies.
19. Do you like loud music?
20. If we were walking down a dark street in the quarter and a man approached us with a gun demanding all of our money would you a) give him all of our hard earned cash b) throw me into him and run or c) call his bluff and beat the shit out of him?
21. Are you offended by profanity?
22. How long does it take you to get ready before going out?
23. How many times do you masturbate in one day?
24. Name your three favorite bands.
25. How do you feel about leather?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Newsletter September 30, 2007






Hello DayDrinkers,


It's Sunday morning and all is well in DayDrinkerLand. I spent all of Saturday amongst friends. We rode bikes through the French Quarter and drank. We ate burgers, gambled, drank, and drank some more. We went to see music at night and I sat in the street eating ribs. Then I fell asleep in a thicket of holly bushes. A perfect day. Today there are some casualties here in blanket city. I've had to patch up some drinking soldiers. There's been some sore bodies and waves of depression. All in a days work. I've had to quote rules 32 and 99. rule 32=No apologies for drunken buffoonery. Rule 99=never say you won't drink again.

Octoberfest. That right, Octoberfest. For the amount of drinking that goes on in New Orleans, there is a shortage of places to celebrate this wonderful holiday. We had to settle for Gordon Biersch. I love me some liter steins. For the next few weeks I expect pictures and stories from you about Octoberfest. This is a historic DayDrinker event. I want you to spend your Saturdays and Sunday (and Monday through Fridays) in a tent. A tent with beer, obnoxious jerks, and your friends. Yes, I know, your friends are obnoxious jerks, so are you. There is nothing like a liter mug. It's great for your self esteem. It makes your biceps look tone. You get that look on your face that says "yeah that's right, I'm going to drink all of it. When it's empty, I'm going to get another. Any questions?" After two wonderful liters of Belgian beer I came up with Octoberfest Roulette. It's just throwing your mug in the air after you have drained it and whoever gets hit, loses. You can only play it once.

DDS film fest. I spent the day yesterday shooting footage of us with my digital camera. Most of us have a camera that can shoot video. I propose a DDS filmfest where we shoot 60 second films on our camera's or cell phones. I will put a few shots up on the myspace page once i can cut them together.

Renee's quote of the day "We go through Vodka like A-rabs go through suicide bombers"

Enjoy

J

Sunday, September 16, 2007

DDS Newletter September 16, 2007




Its Sunday….and we are all still alive. Good morning. I feel like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable misusing my powers for drinking. The Gorillas are playing. I’m drinking shots of 43. Steve is yelling “if you mess with the bull, you get the horns.” Life is good. I’m surrounded by friends. This is what daydrinkerssociety is for.
How are you? I miss all you fuckers out there. I hope you are properly representing the Society. I got a text from Milhouse last night that said “This getting hard.” Good job, it should be. We are the chosen ones. What we were chosen for, I am not sure but chosen none the less.

Why does Renee have so many bruises?

I have to confess…I’ve been drinking this morning. Enough about that though. Lets get to business. How to better the Society? Send some god damn pictures kids. How else is everyone supposed to know what you are up to. Hopefully you won’t remember either but the pictures will be there to make you laugh in the morning. There is nothing better then someone telling you a story about you, that you don’t remember. You listen and love it. You can’t get enough of yourself. You are a funny motherfucker. Why remember anything when you have great friends who will tell you exactly what happened last night. “You were such a dick last night. I had to totally take care of you.” Sure…and you were top hat and tails.

What else? Rules. We need to start publishing our rules. I have some thoughts but not enough to make it official. I’ll attach a few and you can add to them by e-mailing me. Get to work.

J

Rules

Never apologize for drunken buffoonery. This thing is a vicious cycle. You fuck up today, I promise it’ll be me tomorrow.

A nonworking day drinker never gloats to working day drinkers about their antics, unless of course it’s funny… It’s always funny.

If you’re drunk and you have found a good bar, stay there. Excessive moving never gets you anywhere better. It just pisses everyone off.

Know when to get up from the table. If you think it might be time to go, it was time to go a half hour ago.

Overtip. Put good bartenders in your pocket like Vito Corleone put crooked politicians in his. You never know when they will come in handy.

Never say “I’ll never drink again.”

41. Drink what you want. There are no beer police so tell that guy to go screw. This doesn't shield you from ridicule when you deserve it.

When sober and tired, a shot of tequila will get you going. When drunk and tired, a red bull will get you going. More then one tequila or red bull will keep you going, but in a pet cemetery sort of way.

When drunk, rely on the buddy system. If you leave the group be prepared to suffer the consequences.

If you have to leave the group, call on cell phone. When I’m out looking for your body, I need a timestamp and last place you were awake.

Monday, September 3, 2007

One for the books







It started off innocent enough. Three friends out in the quarter enjoying the day. At around two o'clock the decadence gay parade marched by. Then the crazy Christians started to protest. We protested them. After this it gets hazy. Met girls at Erin Rose......lost them at RBAR.....lost someone.....Saved some one else from peril....Someone comes home at 5:30AM and kisses the floor...Something about being woken up by hookers while sleeping on Canal Street......Kicked out of car in the ghetto.....

Details to follow as they become available.

J

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Renee's Gutter

September 1, 2007




Dear fellow daydrinkers,


There is no such thing as a hangover on the weekend. If you feel a little out of sorts when you wake up on a Saturday or Sunday put your sunglasses on and find the closest source of booze. After the first drink or two you wont remember the headache. After a few more you wont remember you’re wearing sunglasses. The day only gets better from there.

Pictures from the evening before should only be viewed after you’ve had a few drinks the next day. If you’re unable to drink the next day you should wait until you can throw back a few beers before looking at your exploits. Booze will be the armor protecting your perfect self image when the pictures come at you like a javelin.

R

DDS Newletter September 1, 2007

September 1, 2007


Dear fellow daydrinkers. I’m sitting here on the couch writing to you about the state of affairs in the daydrinker world.

Things are going pretty well for us daydrinkers. We have our own site. The price of drinks are at a stable level and liver function is at an all time high. The Costa Rica trip is moving ahead full force and anyone who is interested should call or e-mail J. I’m currently planning the first annual DayDrinkersSociety party. This will be in December and hopefully will be held in Multiple cities. I think it will swallow up the Frank Sinatra Birthday party this year. Don’t worry, the theme is 60’s cabana wear. They don’t know it yet but I hope to ask Morning 40 Federation to play a set. So like I said, things are going well, at least her in NOLA. Chapters around the country please feeel free to comment and let us know how you are doing.

May I suggest a weekend activity for you in your home town? Lately we have been “visiting” rooftop pools and enjoying the hospitality of the bars there. This is a great way to pretend you are on vacation and go to the pool for free. Look at the slide show. I’m pretty sure there is a pic or two to show you what I mean. You can do this anywhere. Ride your bike downtown, go to the pool, order a drink and your in business. I suggest you overtip the bartender and after two or three drinks you can bring him in on your scheme He will appreciate your devious nature and your generous ways. Next time he will be an ally. After establishing yourself, you can bring friends and your trusty barkeep will welcome you by name. DDS Saturday, try it. Let me know how it goes.

Another idea for the site is to create a page where I outline the best bathrooms in a given city for when you need something nicer then a urinal or a stall with no walls. I might use a google map and highlight the most DDS friendly hotels and restaurants. No one wants to be caught short, DDS is here to help.

I’d love to hear your ideas. Please send them to me. Also feel free to use the calendar to add local events in your city. Now I think I’m going to take a shower and go find some “Lunch”.

Have Fun,

J

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Best Bars in New Orleans for the DayDrinker

The following is a list of the best Bars in New Orleans for the DayDrinker. It's broken up into Neighborhoods. Please feel free to do the same for you city.


French Quarter

The Erin Rose
811 Conti St.
Home base, the office. I love this bar. Sassy, rude, loud, awesome bartenders. Good jukebox. Right off Bourbon but very local. Tourists wander in and some even stay. Very entertaining, especially after 4am when the strippers get off work.

Molly’s at the Market
2400 block of Decatur
This bar stayed open during and after hurricane Katrina. Stone floors, local vibe, almost always open. Another great place to watch people. There is nothing funnier then smiley tourists sitting next to lower Decatur locals.
Aunt Tiki’s
1207 Decatur
Heavy metal Jukebox, horror movie themed place with Tikki elements. Strange. This is a great dive.

The Abby
1123 Decadur
If you are still awake at 9am and can’t even think of sleeping, go to the Abby. Light is not able to pass into the Abby even though the door is always open. The king of all dive bars.

Ryan’s Irish Pub
241 Decatur
Pool table, nice bartenders, open and sunny. Daydrinkers meet here to start the day.
Boondock Saint
731 Saint Peters St
It used to be the Velvet Dog. Right in the middle of the quarter. Right next to Yo Mamma’s.

Yo Mamma’s
727 Saint Peters St
Best Burger in the quarter, fuck Port of Call. Yo Mamma’s has a one pound burger…Mmmmm gluttony Also, great Tequila selection.

Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop
941 Bourbon St
This is one of the oldest structures standing in the quarter. It’s dark and cool. Makes you feel like a pirate. There is a senile old man who plays the piano. It’s one of those piano’s that’s also a bar. He sings songs that everyone sings along to. You will probably here Sweet Caroline twice every hour. If you want to drink, expect to go broke before getting drunk.

The Dungeon
738 Toulouse St
Dark, goth metal. Stone walls. It’s a dungeon.

The Alibi


Uptown

Monkey Hill
6100 Magazine St
Upscale bar with a full size pool table. Sexy bartenders. Yuppie feel unless you go at the right time. Right time: before 8pm or after 3am.

The Bulldog
3236 Magazine St
Good food. Excellent daydrinkers spot. Lot’s of beer taps, good looking uptown people, dog friendly. Patio with a beer tap fountain.

Snake & Jakes Christmas bar
7612 Oak St
This bar is in the top five New Orleans dive bars. Surrounded on both sides by residential houses in a residential neighborhood, Snake & Jakes was built in a house. It opens late but stays open long after the sun is high in the sky. Christmas lights and fucked up college students. I was there at 7am when a car pulled up, crashed into a parked car and the owner got out brushed himself off and went inside.

The Saint
961 St Mary’s St
It looks like a 1970’s basement. There is a picture booth in the corner in case you need an excuse and a place to hook up. They play cult classics on the tv and you can get a Papst Blue Ribbon and a shot for something ridicules like 3 dollars. This Bar was opened by Sean Yseult, who was the sexy chick bassist for White Zombie. That alone makes it cool.

BalconyBar
3201 Magazine St
Old New Orleans house converted into a bar. Big Balcony where you can eat, drink and spit at people down below. Opens at 4pm, not convenient to datdrinkers.

Rendezvous
3101 Magazine St.
Pool table, great happy hour specials: Two for one well drinks. Also they have a video game machine that has 1980’s games like Donkey Kong and Zaxxon. Of course I’ve never played. I’ve just heard about it.

Le Bon Temps
4801 Magazine St.
I would call this place a roadhouse. Great music and a cool look to it. It’s very New Orleans. Good at night, shitty during the day. Not good for daydrinkers, unless you forgot to go home when the sun set.

The Circle Bar
1032 St Charles
Another old house converted into a bar. Beautifully divey. Local music at night. Cool drinks like a martini with beef-jerky olives.

Columns
3811 St Charles
Big, old, stately hotel with a wood paneled upscale bar. Large front porch great for a gin and tonic on a hot day.

Dos Jeffes
5535 Tchoupitoulas St
Cigar bar with New Orleans jazz. Good for a change of pace. Cheap pool table and good scotch selection.

Miss Mae’s
4336 Magazine St.
Cheapest drinks ever, it’s like the dollar store for drunks. Open during daydrinker friendly hours. The only problem is it’s filled with baseball cap backwards, dip chewing frat guys and their female counterparts.

Marigney/Bywater

Saturn Bar
3067 St Claude St
Add this bar to the top five dives ever. Enter the shady looking entrance and you will find a dark room full of flee market furniture and your creepy uncles knick knacks. Under the old ownership you had to walk over engine parts and broken air conditioners. Since then they have cleaned it up a bit., but only a little.

Markeys Bar
640 Louisa
Perfect daydrinker spot. Open all day and most of the night. Free pool, 50 cent shuffleboard. Good sleepy spot where you can sit and drink the day away.

MiMi’s
2601 Royal St
Mimi’s is a two story bar with a classic New Orleans feel. Candles on the wall, oversized windows, and an ancient air-conditioning unit that takes up half of the ceiling. The second floor has cool art work on the walls and live music. The decor is that of a comfortable living room. Good Tapas menu. Try the pork.
BJ’s
Lesseps & Burgundy
This is a neighborhood bar. Living room easy chairs, old TV’s. I once sat there all afternoon watching America’s Home Videos with a barfull of strangers. We laughed our asses off and drank the day away. Good jukebox.

Vaughn’s
800 Lessepps St
Another old roadhouse. This bar is like traveling back in time. Great blues and Jazz. Though there is no kitchen I was in there one night where they brought in soul food for the whole bar.

DBA
618 Frenchman St
Easy like a Sunday morning. This is a great place to waste a day. Great everything selection. Booze of every color. Tons of beer. Warm vibe, the floors, walls and ceiling are wood. It feels like a log cabin. DBA has some of the best live music in town. Go there in the afternoon, order a Mcshooof Belgian beer (however it’s spelled), strike up a conversation with a smart bartender and enjoy.

Spotted Cat
623 Frenchman
Shack full of live music. It can get crowded at night but is almost empty during the day. If it’s too crowded, order a drink, stand outside and enjoy the sounds and smells of a great New Orleans Street.

R Bar
1431 Royal St
This is one of the coolest places ever, without the bunch of douche bags who usually frequent cool places. Awesome tattooed bartenders. Airline seats, barber chair where they offer a drink and a cut one night a week, huge projection screen where they show movies you actually want to see, and shrimp boils, crawfish boils, and other food events all for free.

Other
The Crown & Anchor
200 Pelican St
This bar is Cheers from England. Beautiful English pub with authentic English owner. Cast of characters who entertain those who walk in looking for the Old Point (see below). C & A is a true neighborhood pub with theme parties and BBQ on Sundays and other events. Go in and tell them you want to have a party for Richard Millhouse Nixon’s wedding anniversary and the whole neighborhood will come out in costume.

The Naughty Knight
34 Westbank Expressway
I’m always nervous going into a bar when the door has no window. You never know what you are going to get. The Naughty Knight is a dive for pro’s only. It reminds me of Henry Hill’s Bar in Goodfella’s, the one where Ray Liotta and Robert De Niro helped Joe Pesci get rid of the body. Sketchy people on either side of the bar and I love it. How many places can you go these days where you don’t know if you are coming out alive.

Old Point
545 Paterson Dr.

Old historic bar in Algiers point. Great during the day. Pool table, cheap drinks, plastic chairs outside to pass the time. They must be in every historic tour book about New Orleans because tourists come from all over to see it. When they get there they see me, sipping a drink by myself. At night they have good music and a crowd. Some guy shows up and sells BBQ on the street.


----Go to all these places and you will know the city in and out. You will also have enough friends in high places to get away with a dead hooker in the trunk of your car. Can't wait to see what your chapter can put together.


J

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Drinking Music

Tom Waits writes about drinking and thinking and being all around creepy better then anyone else I know. While getting ready to go out, being out, and falling down at the end, no one sings my theme song better then Waits. Sample Filipino Box Spring Hog. “Naked to the Waist with my fierce black hound”. Tom’s out there in the heat, cooking up a Filipino Box Spring Hog, whatever the hell that is. Also, Jesus Gonna Be Here. Tom’s been good…except for drinking….but he knew that I would. I suggest picking up Rain Dogs, Real Gone, Bone Machine and Orphans. Don’t bother me ‘till you’ve marinated in these songs for a few weeks.

Morning 40 Federation is a New Orleans band. They sing about drinking, drugs, not bathing, and not being sorry for ant of it. Horns, guitars, and stink. Get off the couch and find one of their two CD’s. This is a band that plays to our sensibilities. Check out tracks In The Bottle, Sorry Mom, (I’m a Drunk), and Drinkin’ Gin Instead Of Whisky Tonight. That should get you started.

Any Old Black Blues Legend. May I suggest Muddy Waters, Bo Diddly, or John Lee Hooker. Work out your angst, pretend you have angst, smile knowingly. Muddy and Bo both do a kick ass version of Manish Boy. John Lee Hooker can drop his guitar down a flight of stairs and it’s genius. Learn from the pain, then dull it.

The Doors knew what they were talking about. At least Jim did. “Show me the way to the next whisky bar” Show me Jim, show me. When the Music’s Over is twenty or so minutes of I don’t know what, but it’s good.

Be selective when picking you Frank Sinatra but don’t overlook him. Summer Wind smells like a gin and tonic. One for my Baby is a tall glass of Bourbon. Drinking Again smacks of mixing it all in the same glass. Frank is to be respected, but please, feel free to punch out anyone who puts A Very Good Year in the Jukebox.

What Makes a Good Bar?

What Makes a Good Bar?


I recently posed this question to my fellow daydrinkers. We know one when we see one but can we narrow down the qualities? Is it the booze selection? The Music? The D├ęcor? Here are some of the Answers I received.

J



-It should smell bad but not too bad, just not good.
-There should be more than 2 females other than the bartender.
-The bartender should make believe they care what you are talking about.
-A wide beer selection is not necessary, but there should be enough of a variety of liquor for you to order a Screaming Viking. Buy booze. It won’t go bad.
-Allow smoking in a city that does not allow smoking in bars.
-Bacon Vodka! Bacon Vodka! Bacon Vodka!
-A tattooed, semi-attractive bartender who can make you laugh, insult you, and probably kick your ass.
-Bar “sports” that make any drunk feel like a great athlete, such as, darts, pool, golden-tee and foosball.
-The jukebox has the same songs that it has had since the day it was installed, and no one seems to care.
-Your name is screamed as you enter the bar, and your drink of choice is poured by the time you hit your stool.
-Last call is never called early, and never called at all for regulars.
-Your Guinness will never come in fewer than three pours.
-No cover. You should not have to pay to pay for drinks.
-If there must be a live band they should make me want to stay and drink more.
-The Three Wise Men must be present (Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and Johnny Walker).
-No fancy glasses. Operating a pint glass is hard enough.
-Day specific drink specials. Drinkers can practice math and organize their calendar.



-Milhouse


What makes a good bar?

I often wonder why certain people migrate and cluster to certain watering holes.
What is it about a place that makes a bar feel cozy, warm and comfortable? Is it the other like minded people that make you feel accepted? Is it the atmosphere, the bathrooms, the bartenders, the stools, the sports they play on monitors? Maybe it is the connection of all of the above?

Personally I look at a cross section of all the bars I have frequented over the years and try to make a delineated model. No survey needed, just a process of modeling the perfect bar, if there is such a utopia.

Scanning such bars I used to frequent in Venice Beach,California, I think of some great ones which now lay by the wayside. What I mean are the bars that used to be comfortable dive bars such as ‘The Brig’ on Abbott Kinnee or the ‘Circle Bar’ on Main Street in Santa Monica, both used to be local hangs that were unpretentious and relaxing to sit and have a beer. Both now have become ultra trendy west side versions of what Hollywood keeps spewing out. Overpriced, un-relaxing metaphors for the too cool school of upwardly hip. Why is it I NEVER find interesting people to talk to in there? I mean I bring talent to the picture. I have great intellectual friends that I love to hang with but if I need to sit and relax and none of my friends schedule adheres to mine, I am not afraid to drink alone. In fact I relish it because then I get to go and meet someone new. I find way more interesting conversations in the grungy ‘dive’ bars. Like minded people looking to strike up an interesting conversation about art, literature, travel, drugs, escapism from our pathetic lives…

I guess I need the jukebox, the peanuts on the floor, and the cheap pitchers of beer to lubricate the conversation. The music needs to be loud, but not so much as to deaden the conversation, more of a stimulant by having classic and interesting musical genres. ‘Hinanos’ on Washington Blvd and the beach still maintains that exact flair. Pool tables are a nice addition for a break from the stool. You will always see smiling drunkards here; this is a gem in a Mecca of hellish trendy soulless bars.

A few steps away from ‘Hinanos’ is another hot spot, ‘Baja Cantina’, more like a pickup joint than a bar, but a great hang all the same. Great for Sunday afternoons after rollerblading on the boardwalk, Baja Cantina is a fun place to eat free chips and salsa while drinking large strong margaritas. The talent is pretty strong, but conversation is pretty weak. There is a great menu of food, an outdoor area, and many areas to hideaway and drink with a date. Furnished with Moorish - Hacienda blend, the flavor the wooden highlights command a warm comfortable feeling. All in all, a good bar for an afternoon chill spot. The feeling I get is pretty warm and comfortable and I can not ever remember a bad time there. Not a fighting bar atmosphere, which will always allow for a female clientele, so if you are looking to find someone this is a better bet than some of the louder trendier places or the dirtier dive bars.

I reside now in Waikiki Beach and am traveling this summer to learn about the bars in Hawaii. Funny thing is the one really good dive bar that I found here, ‘Spinners’, seems to have just closed. Price per drink was always an attractive element of this place as was the color and character of its patrons. Salty Hawaiians and locals abound. I even went to wet my whistle last night but the chains and bars were wrapped tight locked. What happened? I must investigate further since was the only place I had found that drunkards and degenerates all commingled with applausable harmony.

‘Lulu’s’ around the corner from there, sports an incredibly friendly staff and is very comfortable to get a drink. Tourists and locals blend here due to its amazing location and comfortable surf bar environment. Sitting literally across the street from the beautiful Kapiolani Park and Waikiki Beach it is a favorite to watch the sunset sitting on the second floor as tourists, volleyballers, surfers and the like stroll by. Drinks are a little more expensive than ‘Spinners’ but the scenery is clean and exotic. Wooden surf boards reminiscent of Dukes surround the walls and videos of soccer, surf, and baseball are on the monitors above the bar. This is a one room large bar format that just works due to its location. Warm and friendly atmosphere make it family friendly at certain hours, but that changes into the night.

There are numerous reasons certain bars attract its customers but the overall feeling is present and known immediately by the bar goers. I can walk into a place and within five seconds know if there is a new love in my life. Yes I liken a bar to love because I find beauty in its intricacies, its warmth, its social availability and its power. Much like a good woman, I need to feel its love back and embrace it with an open heart. And so I march on, my friend, finding new loves and embracing the future. I love to love and so be damn all crap bars.

I guess in writing this I have come to the finality that there is no such perfect bar because each bar is singular in its vision and perfect in its uniqueness. Much like a woman…


-Jordan

Ahh, the good bar. Is there anything better? No there isn’t. After spending your day out there in the world, where you are at the mercy of fate, it’s good to know there is a place you can go to relax. A place where everything makes sense. A place where the bottles pour but never run out. I’m sure everyone has a different notion of what makes a good bar. I’ll try to explain mine.

A good bar is like a big time out in life. It’s home base. Remember when you were a kid and you played tag? There was a home base. You couldn’t get tagged if you were there. A good bar is like that. Lets face it, you’ve been treated like shit all day. Those condescending assholes think they’re so smart. Do this, do that, you can’t come in here without pants on, sir. Now it’s your time. That’s right, you’ve earned it. Come on in, get out of the cold, have a drink, something to take the edge off. Finally it’s time for someone to wait on you. Hopefully someone who’s quick with the light of your smoke. They smile at you. They give you a knowing glance. They know how hard your day was because they are in the middle of their day right then and there. And you secretly enjoy that. That’s right. One perk for being in your bar is that no matter how much you love your bartender, you enjoy the fact that someone is at work, and it is not you. Ha Ha.

I have a love for the dive bar. The more car parts I have to step over to get a drink, the better. Maybe it stems from a childlike urge to go back to the tree house. You know, you and your friends, getting things done, bathing in vice. The dive bars I love are usually red inside. A need for the womb? Probably. The music? Old dead blues men, Hard rock that has no business being played in public, strange regional fare. To each bar come it’s own soundtrack. You should be able to feel the place then pick the music. There is nothing worse then someone, (usually in your group) who totally misreads the place and ruins the vibe with “their music”. Just because you like a song does not mean it is appropriate everywhere you go. I hate country music like the clap, but if im in a shit kicker honky tonk in the middle of New Mexico I will rise to the occasion and play it up. Enjoy the surroundings. People who can’t adapt are already dead. But wait, I’m ranting now.

Nothing is as special as the combination of good atmosphere, good music, and interesting people. Oh yeah, and hooch. You need that or else the place you are hanging out in would be called something else.


J

Welcome to DDS

Welcome home good drinkers. This place is for you. Forever we have been out there on the streets, forced to walk the night like common vampires. They tried to keep us shrouded by the dark. I am here to say you no longer need to squint and hide from the sun. Embrace it. Tell that jerk next to you in the diner to get his own Makers on the rocks and stop glaring at yours. So what if it’s 7AM on a Tuesday. Since I can remember they have looked down their nose at us. Let me quote fellow daydrinker Milhouse:

"Why should time of day dictate when I drink? I want pancakes for dinner and whiskey for breakfast. I don't care that it's 5:00p.m somewhere. It's 8:30a.m. I'm late for work, and I'm drinking a warm flat high life left from the night before".

Like I said welcome home. We are not drunks, we are hobbyists. Some prefer to play sports, some work out, we would rather ride bikes in a crowded city during peak hours carefully balancing a drink in on hand while the other steers masterfully from one pub to the next. We would rather spend our day carefully switching from Guinness to screwdrivers, then gin and tonics, finally bourbon…but only as the sun sets thus providing our body’s with proper nourishment to sustain us while keeping our temperaments even throughout a fourteen hour session. You try that, “volleyball guy”.

We have been guilted into thinking this behavior is somehow inappropriate. No longer. We are here to celebrate our lifestyle. Stop asking if you drink too much. Stop asking if it’s wrong to drink alone. You can’t drink alone if you are part of a society right? That’s one problem solved already. We’re going good here. Really rolling up our sleeves and taking this thing on head on.

The idea to band together like this came to be in the heart of New Orleans, where this thing of ours is not only tolerated, but applauded. Friends and family come here to become daydrinkers on vacation. No longer. Take to the streets of your fair city and start a trend. Start a chapter. Enjoy your hobby to the best of your ability. Don’t sell yourself short.

Any Joe can go to a bar and get drunk. It takes a special person to go to ten bars and mix drinks like a mad chemist. We salt of the earth drinkers know that of your stomach is unhappy, hit him with a white Russian. Feeling tired? Tequila is the best way to put gas in your tank. Jim Morrison was a daydrinker before his time. When the lizard king was hungry, he ordered a Pina Colada…extra fruit.

We hope this site is helpful to you. We will be adding new things all the time. Tell us you stories, send us your pictures, celebrate the challenging but rewarding lifestyle that you live. We’re daydrinkers after all. Cheers.

J