Wednesday, August 15, 2007

What Makes a Good Bar?

What Makes a Good Bar?


I recently posed this question to my fellow daydrinkers. We know one when we see one but can we narrow down the qualities? Is it the booze selection? The Music? The Décor? Here are some of the Answers I received.

J



-It should smell bad but not too bad, just not good.
-There should be more than 2 females other than the bartender.
-The bartender should make believe they care what you are talking about.
-A wide beer selection is not necessary, but there should be enough of a variety of liquor for you to order a Screaming Viking. Buy booze. It won’t go bad.
-Allow smoking in a city that does not allow smoking in bars.
-Bacon Vodka! Bacon Vodka! Bacon Vodka!
-A tattooed, semi-attractive bartender who can make you laugh, insult you, and probably kick your ass.
-Bar “sports” that make any drunk feel like a great athlete, such as, darts, pool, golden-tee and foosball.
-The jukebox has the same songs that it has had since the day it was installed, and no one seems to care.
-Your name is screamed as you enter the bar, and your drink of choice is poured by the time you hit your stool.
-Last call is never called early, and never called at all for regulars.
-Your Guinness will never come in fewer than three pours.
-No cover. You should not have to pay to pay for drinks.
-If there must be a live band they should make me want to stay and drink more.
-The Three Wise Men must be present (Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and Johnny Walker).
-No fancy glasses. Operating a pint glass is hard enough.
-Day specific drink specials. Drinkers can practice math and organize their calendar.



-Milhouse


What makes a good bar?

I often wonder why certain people migrate and cluster to certain watering holes.
What is it about a place that makes a bar feel cozy, warm and comfortable? Is it the other like minded people that make you feel accepted? Is it the atmosphere, the bathrooms, the bartenders, the stools, the sports they play on monitors? Maybe it is the connection of all of the above?

Personally I look at a cross section of all the bars I have frequented over the years and try to make a delineated model. No survey needed, just a process of modeling the perfect bar, if there is such a utopia.

Scanning such bars I used to frequent in Venice Beach,California, I think of some great ones which now lay by the wayside. What I mean are the bars that used to be comfortable dive bars such as ‘The Brig’ on Abbott Kinnee or the ‘Circle Bar’ on Main Street in Santa Monica, both used to be local hangs that were unpretentious and relaxing to sit and have a beer. Both now have become ultra trendy west side versions of what Hollywood keeps spewing out. Overpriced, un-relaxing metaphors for the too cool school of upwardly hip. Why is it I NEVER find interesting people to talk to in there? I mean I bring talent to the picture. I have great intellectual friends that I love to hang with but if I need to sit and relax and none of my friends schedule adheres to mine, I am not afraid to drink alone. In fact I relish it because then I get to go and meet someone new. I find way more interesting conversations in the grungy ‘dive’ bars. Like minded people looking to strike up an interesting conversation about art, literature, travel, drugs, escapism from our pathetic lives…

I guess I need the jukebox, the peanuts on the floor, and the cheap pitchers of beer to lubricate the conversation. The music needs to be loud, but not so much as to deaden the conversation, more of a stimulant by having classic and interesting musical genres. ‘Hinanos’ on Washington Blvd and the beach still maintains that exact flair. Pool tables are a nice addition for a break from the stool. You will always see smiling drunkards here; this is a gem in a Mecca of hellish trendy soulless bars.

A few steps away from ‘Hinanos’ is another hot spot, ‘Baja Cantina’, more like a pickup joint than a bar, but a great hang all the same. Great for Sunday afternoons after rollerblading on the boardwalk, Baja Cantina is a fun place to eat free chips and salsa while drinking large strong margaritas. The talent is pretty strong, but conversation is pretty weak. There is a great menu of food, an outdoor area, and many areas to hideaway and drink with a date. Furnished with Moorish - Hacienda blend, the flavor the wooden highlights command a warm comfortable feeling. All in all, a good bar for an afternoon chill spot. The feeling I get is pretty warm and comfortable and I can not ever remember a bad time there. Not a fighting bar atmosphere, which will always allow for a female clientele, so if you are looking to find someone this is a better bet than some of the louder trendier places or the dirtier dive bars.

I reside now in Waikiki Beach and am traveling this summer to learn about the bars in Hawaii. Funny thing is the one really good dive bar that I found here, ‘Spinners’, seems to have just closed. Price per drink was always an attractive element of this place as was the color and character of its patrons. Salty Hawaiians and locals abound. I even went to wet my whistle last night but the chains and bars were wrapped tight locked. What happened? I must investigate further since was the only place I had found that drunkards and degenerates all commingled with applausable harmony.

‘Lulu’s’ around the corner from there, sports an incredibly friendly staff and is very comfortable to get a drink. Tourists and locals blend here due to its amazing location and comfortable surf bar environment. Sitting literally across the street from the beautiful Kapiolani Park and Waikiki Beach it is a favorite to watch the sunset sitting on the second floor as tourists, volleyballers, surfers and the like stroll by. Drinks are a little more expensive than ‘Spinners’ but the scenery is clean and exotic. Wooden surf boards reminiscent of Dukes surround the walls and videos of soccer, surf, and baseball are on the monitors above the bar. This is a one room large bar format that just works due to its location. Warm and friendly atmosphere make it family friendly at certain hours, but that changes into the night.

There are numerous reasons certain bars attract its customers but the overall feeling is present and known immediately by the bar goers. I can walk into a place and within five seconds know if there is a new love in my life. Yes I liken a bar to love because I find beauty in its intricacies, its warmth, its social availability and its power. Much like a good woman, I need to feel its love back and embrace it with an open heart. And so I march on, my friend, finding new loves and embracing the future. I love to love and so be damn all crap bars.

I guess in writing this I have come to the finality that there is no such perfect bar because each bar is singular in its vision and perfect in its uniqueness. Much like a woman…


-Jordan

Ahh, the good bar. Is there anything better? No there isn’t. After spending your day out there in the world, where you are at the mercy of fate, it’s good to know there is a place you can go to relax. A place where everything makes sense. A place where the bottles pour but never run out. I’m sure everyone has a different notion of what makes a good bar. I’ll try to explain mine.

A good bar is like a big time out in life. It’s home base. Remember when you were a kid and you played tag? There was a home base. You couldn’t get tagged if you were there. A good bar is like that. Lets face it, you’ve been treated like shit all day. Those condescending assholes think they’re so smart. Do this, do that, you can’t come in here without pants on, sir. Now it’s your time. That’s right, you’ve earned it. Come on in, get out of the cold, have a drink, something to take the edge off. Finally it’s time for someone to wait on you. Hopefully someone who’s quick with the light of your smoke. They smile at you. They give you a knowing glance. They know how hard your day was because they are in the middle of their day right then and there. And you secretly enjoy that. That’s right. One perk for being in your bar is that no matter how much you love your bartender, you enjoy the fact that someone is at work, and it is not you. Ha Ha.

I have a love for the dive bar. The more car parts I have to step over to get a drink, the better. Maybe it stems from a childlike urge to go back to the tree house. You know, you and your friends, getting things done, bathing in vice. The dive bars I love are usually red inside. A need for the womb? Probably. The music? Old dead blues men, Hard rock that has no business being played in public, strange regional fare. To each bar come it’s own soundtrack. You should be able to feel the place then pick the music. There is nothing worse then someone, (usually in your group) who totally misreads the place and ruins the vibe with “their music”. Just because you like a song does not mean it is appropriate everywhere you go. I hate country music like the clap, but if im in a shit kicker honky tonk in the middle of New Mexico I will rise to the occasion and play it up. Enjoy the surroundings. People who can’t adapt are already dead. But wait, I’m ranting now.

Nothing is as special as the combination of good atmosphere, good music, and interesting people. Oh yeah, and hooch. You need that or else the place you are hanging out in would be called something else.


J