The following is a two part application for those who want to date our Bevin. Poor Bevin has a stalker problem. This is an attempt to weed out the crazy's. Please feel free to fill it out and attach yours as a response to this blog. Just cut and paste the Application to a word document and fill out. The best one gets Luscious Bevin.
Application to Date “The Bevin”
1. Are you crazy?
2. Have you ever screamed in the street about someone?
3. Do you have stalker tendencies?
4. Are you a compulsive liar?
5. Do you live on the 400 block of Pacific?
6. Are you married or engaged?
7. Do you have weird rashes or unexplained break outs?
8. Do you have a job? Are you able to support yourself with this job?
9. Are you homosexual or bi-sexual?
10. Do you play in a band?
11. List all medicine you are on. Prescription or over the counter? (Legal or illegal?)
12. Do you work at Chevron? (Not the gas station!)
13. Have you graduated from high school or have a GED equivalent?
14. Are you between the ages of 27 - 40 years old?
15. Have you ever been in jail? If so, explain.
16. Do you have a reliable vehicle?
17. Do you talk when watching movies?
18. Do you have a bad temper?
19. Do you drunk dial?
20. Are you needy or overly clingy?
21. Do you have a warrant out for your arrest?
22. Do you pay child support or alimony?
23. Do you have any close friends?
24. Have any of your previous girlfriends turned gay immediately after dating you?
25. Do you live with your parents?
Application to date “the Bevin”
Part II
1. If I had diabetes and went into insulin shock would you stab me in the ass to save my life?
2. Do you go all the way on the first date?
3. Do you like feet? If so, to what degree?
4. Are you a compulsive liar?
5. How often do you bathe?
6. Do you smoke? Are you offended by smokers?
7. If during intercourse I screamed “stick it in my ass!” what would your response be?
8. If you are a musician and you had the opportunity to date me, would you delete all your booty call numbers and provide proof that you have done so?
9. Do you have any problems sleeping with “the Bevin” and Johnny Cash at the same time?
10. If you had the opportunity to sleep with “the Bevin” would she wakeup to breakfast in bed and a clean house?
11. What’s your favorite time of day to do it?
12. Are you a good cook?
13. Can you get it up after drinking massive amounts of liquor?
14. If my job requires me to move will you go?
15. Do you mind being number 4?
16. What are your four favorite things in life?
17. Are you from West Virginia?
18. Name your three favorite movies.
19. Do you like loud music?
20. If we were walking down a dark street in the quarter and a man approached us with a gun demanding all of our money would you a) give him all of our hard earned cash b) throw me into him and run or c) call his bluff and beat the shit out of him?
21. Are you offended by profanity?
22. How long does it take you to get ready before going out?
23. How many times do you masturbate in one day?
24. Name your three favorite bands.
25. How do you feel about leather?
