Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Rules





We have been trying to put together a list of rules for the Day Drinkers Society. These are more like suggestions or advise from those who have learned from good or bad experiences. What we have so far is a small sampling of what I would like. I will list what we have below and hope that you will add your rules this. Just click on comment to blog at the bottom. You may need to set up an account with this blog but please do so. It would be nice to hear from some of you.



Some preliminary rules:

Never apologize for drunken buffoonery. This thing is a vicious cycle. You fuck up today, I promise it’ll be me tomorrow.

A nonworking day drinker never gloats to working day drinkers about their antics, unless of course it’s funny… It’s always funny.

If you’re drunk and you have found a good bar, stay there. Excessive moving never gets you anywhere better. It just pisses everyone off.

Know when to get up from the table. If you think it might be time to go, it was time to go a half hour ago.

Overtip. Put good bartenders in your pocket like Vito Corleone put crooked politicians in his. You never know when they will come in handy.

Never say “I’ll never drink again.”

Drink what you want. There are no beer police so tell that guy to go screw. This doesn't shield you from ridicule when you deserve it.

When sober and tired, a shot of tequila will get you going. When drunk and tired, a red bull will get you going. More then one tequila or red bull will keep you going, but in a pet cemetery sort of way.

When drunk, rely on the buddy system. If you leave the group be prepared to suffer the consequences.

If you have to leave the group, call on cell phone. When I’m out looking for your body, I need a timestamp and last place you were awake.

from Adrian:

Guys might find drunk sexy but women, not so much

Its okay to decline a girly shot just don't make a big deal out of it

Beer and whiskey result in bad breath. I would NEVER advise against these elixers of the gods but, just be aware of it before you got talk to that girl you've been pounding liquid courage to get up the nerve to talk to.

Never argue with a drunk woman (especially if she's your girlfriend, your buddies girlfriend or your roomate)

Never EVER argue with a group of drunk women, you will always be wrong. Now, bow out gracefully and quickly.

If a drunk girl wants to dance don't argue (see rule 4)

If a group of drunk girls want to do karoke, RUN! (see rule 5)

If a woman warns, "I'm not much of a drinker", she has given you fair warning.

Never waste your time with a girl who says "I'm not much of a drinker"

Why would you start a tab with your credit card? You know whats going to happen.

Get the bartenders name early on but, use it sparingly. You may love him like a father but, he's not.

If bringing booze to a party where you plan on drinking most of it you gotta opt for the larger bottle

Never use a strip club ATM

Be concious of your drinking budget at the beginning and you'll be in good shape later when you're not concious of anything.

Never drink Aftershock , EVER!

With mixed drinks you can go with booze from the well - except if its in a plastic bottle

If the bartender doesn't know how do make it don't explain... change your order

If you don't see a blender that looks like it gets frequent use do not order a frozen drink.

Just don't order frozen drinks.

Don't bust your buddies balls about the beer he's drinking - nobody likes a beer snob.

If your buddie orders a drink that is: A. such a bright color you have to squint B. served in a fruit C. comes with a "crazy straw" D. named after a sex act, position, location, element or fluid - he's asking for it.

A famous person who enjoys a fruity drink is not an excuse - I don't care if Elvis drank Mia Tias you're no fucking Elvis!

Posting embarassing drunk photos on the internet is done to enemies not friends (unless its really fucking funny)

If you're drinking with your buddies and you make the "Fight Club" suggestion you cannot get mad about whatever happens next.

If your friend tries to picks a fight with the bouncer don't stop him - he's got to learn somehow.


Thanks Adrian, Now DayDrinkers, it's you turn.

Have fun,

J