Hello, Amanda here. Mardi Gras is finally over and what an eventful Mardi Gras it has been. I have lost my voice, wrecked my bike, witnessed a shooting, and was almost robbed all in the last week. Mardi Gras in New Orleans brings out people from all walks of life. The amateurs, the gangsters, the preppy kids, the old people. But most importantly, Mardi Gras brings out the Day Drinkers. With Jason out of town, Steve, Bevin, Renee, Evan and I were left to hold down the fort.
The weekend before Mardi Gras brought the end to the Morning 40 Federation (tsk tsk). I went to the show and stayed out way too late and got an hour of sleep before work. I also got to see Kid Rock play with the Rebirth Brass Band which was really cool, there again getting an hour of sleep before work. Biking home from work Friday I witnessed a shooting on Saint Charles and couldn’t get home due to road blocks. Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk livened up my Sunday night. Sunday night ended with me covered in bruises and boycotting yellow cab for the rest of my life.
When I finally woke up on Lundi Gras, I met Steve, Bevin, Renee and Evan at the Rose. It was this night that Steve came up with his newest idea for a bar. It’s called the Birth Bar. In this bar there will be a conveyor belt full of lactating women going around the top of the bar. This contraption will be called the Centrifugal Fluge. Pay the lovely, post-partum women a dollar and they will let you have a sample of their breast milk. They’ll be a couple of them on rotisseries on ground level as well to accommodate the handicapped and vertically challenged. Lundi Gras also brought about the return of Molly Mumms and the Tit Fart Chorus. This group is comprised of ladies that stick a straw in their cleavage and blow to produce a tit fart. Got a couple of new members.
That night ended with the most hilarious cab ride ever. Steve asked what the date was and the cabbie told him February 24th. Steve informed him that his milk expired today and that we must get rushed home in order to drink all the milk before it expires. Steve bid the driver farewell with “May the ghost of Christmas future be on your hair and lips.” There were so many Lonanoisms, I had a hard time remembering all of them.
On Mardi Gras day we start with fried shrimp po-boys and free drinks (thank you Bevin) at the Acme Oyster House. Proceeding through the quarter I saw two almost naked people on top of each other puking (video soon to be posted). We went to the lesbian bar where Steve acted gay and didn’t get served. The scene in the Quarter was awesome unlike uptown where all the people were shot. Beautiful day, perfect weather. Steve came up with a new pick up line. Sex with him “will be like giving birth in reverse.” Lots of drinks and balloons later we say goodbye.
I’m going to rest now….
A
